


The Art of Texting

by smileifyouarebored, targetthis



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileifyouarebored/pseuds/smileifyouarebored, https://archiveofourown.org/users/targetthis/pseuds/targetthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Tony gets bored and Loki's a tease?</p><p>- Crack based on a series of texts between me and my friend. –</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Texting

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was just a fun idea. Me and a friend spent two days roleplaying as Loki and Tony and since we're both shipping FrostIron things just sort of happened. Another friend gave us the idea to turn it into a fanfic and eventually this came into being. 
> 
> My friend's tumblr: http://thevastnessoftime.tumblr.com/
> 
> Link to my tumblr in my profile.
> 
> Oh, neither one of us has ever written any smut, and please understand that this was not an attempt to do so :)
> 
> EDIT: My friend got her AO3 account, smileifyouarebored

Tony was just about to finish the last details on his late night project, when his phone pinged. He yawned and stretched as he went over to the workbench where he’d put his phone. Who the hell texted him this late? He needed some hours sleep before he went to that board meeting.  
He picked up his phone and Loki’s name lit up the screen. A grin spread over his face. Of course, who else?  
-Morning playboy-  
Wait what? Morning?  
“JARVIS, what time is it?”  
“Nine thirty, sir. Board meeting begins in ninety minutes.”  
-Morning? Fuck, Peppers gonna kill me. Emergency in the workshop. Damn, that was only supposed to take an hour.-  
Tony threw a quick glance around the workshop and reckoned it wasn’t too messy. He could clean up when he got home, because right now it was all about survival, and god knows Pepper would kill him if he was late.  
“JARVIS, shut everything down, will you?”  
“Of course, sir.”  
Tony went up the stairs to his private room as his phone went off again.  
-You’ve been working all night? Christ Stark, your sleeping habits are really messed up. It’s not good for you.-  
Tony frowned as he remembered the evening before. He must say he preferred it when Loki used all kind of endearments to him. Stark sounded a little harsh.  
-Hey, what happened with honey and sweetheart? It’s not as if I keep to a normal sleeping pattern when you’re around anyway, so I really can’t see why you mind.-  
He couldn’t help but throw that last one in there. He knew it would irritate the god to no end.  
Okay, shower had to be first priority now, then clothes.

 

-True, but that’s why I need you to sleep when I’m not there. I’d hate it if you fainted from sleep deprivation. It would quite ruin the moment. Although my guess is that you ‘sort it out’ with your bloody coffee. Also, I call you Stark when I’m angry with you, sweetheart.-  
Tony let out a small laugh at that. He could feel the sarcasm even in Loki’s texts. Well, wasn’t that just cute.  
-Coffee is good! And I don’t need you to be angry with me, I’ve got Pepper for that.- Tony couldn’t help but pout as he wrote it. Only because he knew Loki would roll his eyes as he read it.  
-I suppose I’m more annoyed than angry, but I’m sure we’ll soon fix that. Right, honey?-  
He could sense the mischievous grin behind the message. If only that would have been possible.  
“Sir, miss Potts is waiting downstairs.”  
“Tell her I’ll be right there.”  
Tony buttoned up his shirt and threw on a suit jacket. He gave himself an onceover in the mirror. That’ll have to do. He picked up his phone from the bed and quickly slid it into his pocket. Loki would have to wait a few seconds as Tony dodged the anger of Pepper.  
“Tony, I wasn’t expecting you to be ready.”  
“Ha ha, really funny. You know, I actually am able to be punctual.”  
“You’re still five minutes late.”  
Pepper’s smile was warm as she said it though, and Tony let out a sigh of relief. He put on his shades and opened the door for her.  
“Shall we?”  
“Yes, and I need you to sign these papers in the car. Also, you’ll need to read through these..” Pepper started to hand him a whole lot of papers and instructions as they made their way to the car. She only paused to say hello to Happy, and Tony silently cursed himself for not bringing any more coffee with him. 

 

“Next point on the agenda..”  
Tony tuned out the voices of the board members and directed his attention to his phone.  
-Loki Laufeyson: 1 new picture received-  
Tony wasn’t entirely sure it would be a good idea to look at the picture here, but when had he ever been able to resist. Though it only was a picture of Loki with a black shirt, with the words ‘Keep Calm and love Tony Stark’.  
-Oh honey, you’re making me blush.-  
He had expected something a little more indecent, but he was actually quite touched by the sentiment, even though he knew it was just a joke.  
-It’s what I aim for, darling.-  
Tony grinned only to catch a glimpse of Pepper giving him a disapproving look.  
-Yeah, and you have to do it now of course? Pepper’s throwing me weird looks. We’re at a meeting (boring)-  
Tony tried turning his attention back to the meeting but his phone buzzed soon after and the meeting was really rather boring.  
-Aren’t all of your meetings boring? Good thing I’m here to cheer you up a bit-  
That triggered some memories. Not really the right opportunity.  
-Uh-uh, depends on how you’ll cheer me up. And of course all of my meetings are boring. Another reason to why I have Pepper..-  
-Well, doesn’t just talking to me cheer you up? Good thing you’ve got Miss Potts to take care of everything that you think is boring.-  
Ow, that sarcasm stung. He didn’t throw everything boring to Pepper. That would just be rude. Only most of the things. And it wasn’t as if she minded.  
-It is, she’s an angel. And it does cheer me up, but I was thinking about last time you tried to cheer me up during a meeting. It didn’t end very well, and god, why did I start to think about that?-  
Tony shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Did it just get awfully hot in here? He desperately tried to avoid Pepper’s burning gaze. She was going to kill him if he didn’t pay more attention.  
“...deal with the Chinese company was thrown off due to..”  
His phone buzzed. Fuck his curiosity.  
-That bad, huh, honey? Pray tell, how did it end?-  
-Damn you, you know how it ended.-  
-It must have slipped my mind.. enlighten me dear..-  
Tony didn’t know what to do. He really didn’t want to go down that line of thought, but Loki made it near impossible.  
-Embarrassed?-  
God of Lies and Mischief. He should’ve known it would get him into trouble. He just never imagined it would be this kind of trouble.  
-You must, mustn’t you? It might have ended with me rushing from the meeting room only to see you waiting in the corridor, and then you may, or may not, have taken me against a wall in a cupboard..-  
There. He had written it. Couldn’t someone open a fucking window?  
-Yeah, I do think I remember now actually. A rather fun experience, don’t you think?-  
Tony felt his blood rush downwards, and tried shifting over to a more comfortable position without it looking to suspicious. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was half-hard, during a board meeting, due to a few short text messages.  
-Yeah, but its’ completely indecent to think about it right now, and I’m the one calling it indecent. And I’m me..-  
-Oh dear, I love indecent things, especially when they involve you.-  
He could actually hear Loki laughing at him. Loki knew exactly what he was doing to him.  
-Well, I’m glad this is all very funny to you, but you’re obviously not the one trying to hide a boner from twelve people in a meeting room. Oh my god, I think Pepper can see what I’m thinking about!-  
That was true. Pepper was shooting daggers at him, and he thanked god for a well-practiced poker face. No one else would be able to tell.  
-Oh god, seriously Tony, you have no idea what you’re doing to me right now. You want me to come over so we can repeat our little cupboard-experience?-  
Okay that’s it, he was losing it.  
-Oh fuck, just get your fucking gorgeous ass over here already. Though this time we take my office.-  
He added that last one as an afterthought. After all, he had gotten bruises after the cupboard.  
“Uhm, you guys seem to manage great without me, and I have something in my office I need for this project I’m working on, so I’m just gonna pop up there to get it, and you’ll finish off without me. You’ll bring me anything that’ll need signing Pep?”  
Tony bolted for the door before anyone would be able to protest, and thanked himself for being present enough to bring a couple of files he could use to cover his now, rather prominent boner.  
-Good point, your office is a bit more roomy.. And I’ll get that opportunity to have you on the desk.-  
Oh well, wasn’t that just one fantasy too much?  
-Get here!-  
-Patience dear, patience-  
Tony threw himself down in his office chair and tapped his fingers against his desk.  
-I’m really not well known for my patience. The opposite actually. I’m rather known from my impatience.-  
He was rambling now. That wasn’t a very good sign.  
-Well, you’ve gotta learn sometime. But don’t worry honey, I’m on my way.-  
-Yeah, well, just tell me when you get here.-  
-What would Miss Potts do to you if she knew you’re sneaking out from a meeting to have sex with me in your office?-  
Tony flinched at the thought of that. It really wasn’t a pleasant thought.  
-You really don’t wanna know. But I’ll probably have to hide in my workshop for at least a week, or I won’t survive that encounter. And she won’t blame it all on me you know?-  
-Oh, she can hardly blame me. It’s in my nature to be mischievous.-  
Tony grinned.  
-Oh, I’d like to see you explain that to her.-  
-I’m sure I’ll manage. I’m not called silvertongue for nothing.-  
And didn’t that just give him a sting of jealousy.  
-Uh-uh, you better just use it to talking…-  
-Of course love, I wouldn’t do that to you.-  
-You better not. I would have to move into my workshop to find a way to take revenge (all cause your damn magic)-  
Awkwardly trying to cover up the sentiment with a half-bad, or well, really bad joke.  
\- Seriously, my magic is cool.-  
-When you use it to undress quicker, yes. When you ruin half of Manhattan, not so much-  
There was a pause, and Tony wondered if he maybe took it a step too far when mentioning the Manhattan-incident. Eventually the phone lit up again.  
-I may agree on that. But I’m not at all that messed up anymore, thanks to you.-  
Wow, that wasn’t really what he’d expected. Uhm, how did he answer that? He wasn’t really used to being sentimental.  
-Aw, you’re cute when you’re sentimental.-  
Oh god, that sounded awfully teasing.  
-Honestly, I’m moved though. You mean a lot to me too, you know. I’m just glad I could help.-  
Well, wasn’t that just awkward. Though he found that he actually meant it.  
-I’m cute when I’m sentimental, huh? Maybe I should play that card a bit more often.-  
Tony turned his chair to look out over the city. He took a deep breath and just wrote what he actually felt at the moment. No teasing or playing. Just him trying not to freak out about how domestic, not to mention cheesy, it was going to sound.  
-How about not playing it, and actually be it? And I feel weird about the whole office plan now. Too sentimental for that.. Let’s get cozy by the tv?-  
-Yes, you’re right. Let’s do that another time. I guess sentiment won this time? Oh, and I do love your weird Midgardian tv-thing!-  
He could tell Loki was just as confused about the whole new turn of this conversation. And he still got his promise about the office..  
-I’ll hold you to that, you know, god of lies be damned. I know you like it, so you’ll get the popcorn and I get the movies on my way back? You know what? Screw the popcorn, I’ll bring pizza. What do you want?-  
Tony stood, and started walking out of his office while mentally picking out movies Loki might like.  
-I may be the god of lies, but that does not mean that I lie all the time. Oh pizza! I don’t know, surprise me!-  
It really was cute, how excited the god became about the simplest of things.  
“Tony!”  
Oops.  
“Pepper!” He tried his best winning smile, but obviously it had no effect whatsoever on Pepper.  
“What was all that about? You don’t have anything in your office related to any projects, and don’t even try to deny it, I saw you texting the entire time.”  
“That’s not true!” Tony defended himself. “It wasn’t even during half of the meeting, and only as it got really boring.”  
“You can’t just run away from a meeting because it’s boring!”  
“Why not?”  
“Tony, I’ll swear to god, if you do this one more time I’ll force you to attend every single meeting for a month. Every, single, one.” She punctuated the words with one sharp finger in his chest.  
“Okay. I’ll get it. Though I really have to rush now.”  
“Where are you even going?”  
“Urgent matters!” He shouted back to her, as he hurried down the corridor. At his way out he called a pizza parlor and ordered two pizzas with extra everything. Why compromise?  
-Oh I will sweetheart. I’m out of the building, Pepper’s infuriated (seriously, wouldn’t she and Fury be a match?), pizzas ordered, and I’m on my way!  
-I don’t really think you’d handle it that well if they were together. And good you’re on your way, I can’t wait.-  
-True that, I probably wouldn’t last for long. Just make sure the others don’t intrude this time. I can’t stand another one of Clint and Bruce’s movie arguments.-  
Really, the two of them were quite a pair.  
-Those two.. Don’t worry, I’ll tell them we’re doing something a little dirtier, that’ll keep them out.-  
Tony didn’t really know if that was a very good idea. While his relationship with Loki had improved and well, deepened in lack of a better word, his relationship with Thor had become a little more strained. Tony wasn’t entirely sure Loki’s complete lack of concern about it made matters better or worse.  
-Uhm, you know your brother doesn’t really approve, right? I swear, if he had to choose between saving my life, and a fish, he would pick the fish. Only because we’re not making it the “honorable” way. It’s not as if I’m the only one in the relationship.-  
-Well, my brother can be very brainless sometimes (always) but I’ll handle it. He is the one nagging me about this whole brother thing, and then he’ll have to accept us or he will be very sorry.-  
Tony grinned as he sat in the backseat of his car. He didn’t know what had happened to his life, but he certainly didn’t mind.


End file.
